Christina Anstead Says 'I Never Thought I Would Have One Divorce Let Alone Two' in Candid Post

Christina Anstead is opening up about life following her split from husband Ant Anstead.

One week after the Christina on the Coast star, 37, posted a statement announcing that she and the Wheeler Dealers host, 41, have separated, the HGTV star reflected on how life has a way of throwing curveballs.

“For those of you who don’t know me (or think you know me) let me reintroduce myself. I hate crowds, I love traveling, all things spiritual, the ocean and deep one on one conversations,” she wrote at the start of a lengthy Instagram post as she went on to address a number of unexpected life changes — including being on television.

“I never thought about being on tv. I wanted to be a sports agent like Jerry Maguire. But I always loved looking at houses with my parents especially model homes and I always wanted to be my own boss,” the mom of three wrote. “So in college when I was called (intuitively) to get my real estate license at a local community college I followed my intuition. I got started in real estate at 21 which led to selling houses which led to flipping houses which led to Tv.”

Continuing, Christina wrote, “Now while I never wanted to be on tv, stepping out of my comfort zone and into the unknown has always been my thing. I live in a state of anxiousness and I’m so used to it that when it’s not there I tend to feel a void and hop into something that causes the feeling I’m used to. This can be good and bad. And it’s one of the things I’m working on breaking the pattern of. Sometimes anxiety and pursuit of new dreams leads me down amazing paths, other times it leaves me feeling lost and in a state of fight or flight / or crying in my closet.”

After reflecting on the unexpected path her career has taken over the years, Christina went on to address her personal life.

“I never thought I would have one divorce let alone two. I never thought I would have 2 baby daddies – but sometimes life throws us curve balls,” she wrote, adding that “instead of getting stuck in these 'setbacks' I choose to use look at these challenges as opportunities to grow.”

“So while some may judge me and throw around rumors about me, most of you support me. And that says a lot about this world and where we are headed,” Christina added. “I’m messy, I’m real and I’m working on healing. I’m surrounded by extremely powerful women who help me cope, build me up and push me to be better.”

As she brought the lengthy post to a close, the designer thanked all of her friends and fans for their support. “If you’ve DM me or text me – I haven’t written back because I’m taking time to clear the ‘noise’ and focus on myself and the kids,” she wrote. “I appreciate the support and I hope my story inspires you to not be so hard on yourself for the decisions / choices you’ve made. We are all a work in progress.”

The post on Saturday marks the second time Christina has posted on Instagram since her announcement, having previously shared photos from her daughter Taylor’s 10th birthday party. In the images, she is not wearing her wedding ring.

Although Ant broke his social media silence on Thursday, he has yet to publicly acknowledge the separation news.

Ant and Christina share son Hudson London, 1. He has two children from his previous marriage: a daughter, Amelie, 16, and son, Archie, 14. Christina shares Taylor and son Brayden, 5, with her ex and Flip or Flop co-host Tarek El Moussa.

Earlier this week, a source told PEOPLE that Christina and Ant had been struggling with their relationship for a year — since the birth of Hudson. “After the baby, they started having conflicts,” the source said.

Despite her full house, the source said Christina was left feeling “lonely and unhappy” with her home life. “Christina found it difficult to balance everything” and “their marriage was struggling.”

The source went on to share that although things may be tough right now, Christina is remaining optimistic about her future: “She never expected to get a divorce. But she is doing okay and focusing on the kids.”

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